you slay me with your humor
April, 17th
via & with 131,675 notes
#text 

saladder:

ppl ur age that look way hotter than u
image

April, 17th
via & source with 175,856 notes
#text 

aglassofgleeblesplease:

deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaadpool:

do u ever watch movies or shows where they have a flashback to a main character’s childhood and it’s so god damn well cast that you think for a second that they built a time machine and filmed the same actor when they were a little kid

image

April, 17th
via & source with 118,918 notes
#omg 

calumberjacked:

jaclcfrost:

image

whoever came up with this is probably still patting themselves on the back at this very moment

i went to burger king when they got these and the girl said “would you like some satifries? theyre really satifrying.” and the boy behind her goes “shut up” and she goes “hes not satifried with my puns.”

April, 17th
via & source with 37,001 notes
#same 
April, 17th
via & with 96,071 notes
#text 

internetexplorers:

“you’re like a son to me”

“dad, i am your son”

April, 17th
via & with 24 notes

(x)

April, 17th
via & source with 85,654 notes
#text 

plasticbagvevo:

ketchupday:

plasticbagvevo:

never microwave a caprisun

what did you do

i microwaved a caprisun

April, 17th
via & source with 410,733 notes
#cat 

seraphphoenix:

raspbeary:

girls should have long hair. i prefer girls with long hair. the hair must be very long at least 85 ft. long so that i may wrap my entire body around it several times and coat it in salive and form a cocoon from which i will emerge victorious and claim my throne as the moth king

April, 17th
via & source with 45,442 notes
#omg 

pbbbtht:

I am afraid

April, 17th
via & source with 106,299 notes
#same 
April, 17th
via & source with 188,552 notes
#same 

bewilden:

fileformat:

how are these people not dead

Oh he can eat plastic bags and the other lady can eat drywall, but if I want to enjoy some fucking cookie dough I’ll get salmonella and die

April, 16th
via & source with 103,652 notes
#text 
me at age 12: ew older men
now: wow he's only 30?
April, 16th
via & source with 24,717 notes
#text 

particlefucker:

dont let tumblr make you believe that

-eating car hubcaps is cool

-being an inanimate object is acceptable

-post-avant jazzcore is better than progressive dreamfunk

-having a corporeal form is healthy

-france exists

-chemtrails aren’t real

April, 16th
via & source with 26,043 notes
#text 

guy:

wow i like u *double taps u like an instagram post*







HS